Conviction
by Christine Writer
Summary: The car accident in Teach Me Tonight takes a tragic turn and someone's life is in danger. Full summary inside. R&R.
1. Rory's Dead

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Summary: From Teach Me Tonight (2.19) the car accident. It resulted in the death of someone we all know and love. And the person left behind doesn't know what to do.

* * *

"I can go straight and we'll be back in town at Luke's, or," I smile at Rory. "We could turn right and just be driving aimlessly in circles for hours." 

"Turn right." she says. I turn right, and from nowhere, something is in the road. I swerve, Rory screams, and all is black. I wake up later, in a hospital room. Luke is there, and a police officer. Luke looks like he is about to kill me.

"What's going on?" I manage to say.

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be used against you in the court of law," the police officer reads me the Miranda rights. What is going on? Then I remember--the car accident. Rory's scream. This has something to do with Rory, but what? What happened?

"The way this is going to work, Jesse," the officer says, "Is that you will be under arrest while you recover, and the second you are released you go to trial."

"What's the charge?" I ask, still confused.

"Vehicular homicide in the death of Lorelai Leigh Gilmore." My stomach drops, and I feel like I'm going to vomit. The officer chains my hand without the IV in it to the bedrail and leaves. "I'm going to go tell my partner you're awake; we have to guard you."

The second the door closes, Luke is practically at my throat. "What happened, Jess?" he demands. "Do you have a death wish?"

"I do now." I say honestly.

"You got Rory killed, Jess! Rory is dead! No Omega-13, Jess. They're trying you as an adult due to your juvenile record in New York. And Lorelai is pressing charges, but if she didn't, the state would." Luke's words sink in and I do vomit. Rory's dead. The words can't be true, and yet they are. Those horrible words are true. Rory's dead.

* * *

Okay, please don't hate me!!!!


	2. Don't Let This Kill You

Jess stood at the Gilmore mailbox. Could Lorelai ever forgive him? He didn't know. He sank to the ground, replaying the tragedy in his mind. He had asked her if she wanted to go straight back into the town square, or if she wanted him to turn and drive in circles. He turned right, at her request, and swerved to avoid hitting a small furry thing in the road. Then a sickening crunch, a shattering of glass, and she was gone. Dead at the scene, they said. And it was all his fault. He was seventeen, and guilty involuntary manslaughter; vehicular homicide. Against the wishes of his lawyer, he had pleaded guilty. He wanted them to end his life, to make the pain go away. Or, if they couldn't do that, at least lock him away for the rest of his life. 

As it was, he had been sentenced to one year in a juvenile detention center, and five in the adult prison. After that, he would be on probation for two years, and he would not be allowed to drive again for a very long time. He didn't want to, anyway.

He had been allowed by the court to visit Lorelai before he left for the juvenile center. Lorelai had agreed, but now he wasn't sure if she would let him in. He approached the front door and knocked, feeling pain in his heart as he noticed that she was in Rory's room, to the right of the door.

"Hi." he said quietly when she opened the door. She didn't say anything. "I'm so sorry." he said. Tears began streaming down his cheeks, but he didn't care. "Sorry really doesn't cut it, I know, but I can't think of anything else to say. I just want to die."

Lorelai nodded miserably. "I know." she whispered. "Me, too."

"I have to go." he said, motioning to the police car, waiting.

"Look." Lorelai said. "Rory's gone. I know now it wasn't intentional, and I know that they think they have to lock you up to teach you a lesson, but don't let this kill you, Jess. Regret can kill; believe me, I know that. Don't let this kill you."

Tears pierced Jess's eyes, and he whispered as he turned away, "It already has."


	3. Michaela

A/N: So so very sorry about the long wait. Lots happening! Please review!

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Jess was placed in a juvenile correctional facility near Hartford. He was almost glad that he hadn't seen Dean before being locked up. If he had, there wouldn't have been much Jess left to put in jail. He also wished that he'd been able to attend Rory's funeral. He had been in the hospital when it took place. The flip side of not seeing Dean was that he couldn't apologize. He had stolen the heart of the girl Dean loved and then gotten her killed.

He was soon admitted to his cell; mercifully a single. He sat down on his bunk and just started to weep uncontrollably. "Hey! Shut up, man!" another inmate yelled, adding on a choice string of expletives.

Jess fell into a dark sleep, haunted by memories of the accident. He couldn't escape from them. He woke the next morning, early, drenched in sweat.

Breakfast was waiting for him. He saw a short stack of pancakes with bacon and eggs on a paper plate. With the food was a set of plastic utensils and a bottle of water. He was mildly surprised. Wasn't it gruel and bread in the movies with a tin cup full of water?

He voiced the question and heard a reply from the other side of his cell door.

"My father and I run a teen prison ministry." A female voice sounded amongst various catcalls. "What's your name?"

"Can't you tell from the nameplate?" Jess asked, slightly harshly.

"Yes, but it makes it a little human if we introduce ourselves."

"Fine. I'm Jess."

"I'm Michaela." she answered.

"Now what?" he didn't see the point in talking to her any longer.

"Now we get you out of here."

"What?" He wasn't sure what she meant. Out of the cell, or out of jail?

"Daddy and I like to meet all of the young people we minister to." she clarified.

"Oh. The food?" he wished he hadn't said that. Of course she was responsible for the food. A warden unlocked Jess's door and entered the cell.

"Just getting you locked up; then we can go." he said. His badge read, "Jeremy." Jess obediently clasped his hands behind his back and allowed Jeremy to cuff them, and his feet. He shuffled out of his cell behind Jeremy, and his breath locked in his throat when he saw her. Michaela was not particularly stunning, but the stricken look on her face stole his breath. He couldn't resist a small snipe.

"Don't worry; I'm not in here because I killed a kitten." Tears filled Michaela's eyes and he immediately wished to take his words back.

"Do you want to go back in?" Jeremy asked, pointing to Jess's cell. Jess shook his head. "Then you be nice to Miss Michaela."

Jess raised his eyebrows. Miss Michaela? She didn't look a day over sixteen. Jeremy and Jess followed Michaela into a small room with only a table and two chairs in it. Jeremy tried to remain in the room, but Michaela shook her head. "I told you before, Jeremy, God will take care of me."

Jess almost rolled his eyes. God? What did God have to do with anything? Michaela took one of the chairs and motioned for Jess to sit in the other seat. He awkwardly pulled the chair out from the table and sat in it as comfortably as possible with his hands restrained behind his back.

"Jeremy!" Michaela called. Jeremy rushed into the room. "Jeremy," Michaela addressed the man admonishingly. "You forgot." Jeremy gave Michaela an almost pleading look, but Michaela shook her head. Jeremy sighed and approached Jess. He gently prodded Jess to lean forward, and unlocked the handcuffs. Then he left wordlessly, shutting the door behind him.

"Jeremy always does that." Michaela apologized, though Jess didn't know why. He was a prisoner, not a guest. It sounded like Jeremy was the butler, and Michaela was his employer. Jess tried to stretch his arms as discreetly as possible.

"So, Jess." Michaela smiled. "I just need to know three things: one, if you're allergic to anything; two, how I can pray for you," her smile dimmed a bit now, "and three, why you are here."

"I'm not allergic to anything." Jess answered. "You believe that God controls how long people live, right?" The question seemed out of place, but Michaela took it in stride.

"Yes, I do." she confirmed. "Why?"

"You can pray that I die." Jess said darkly.

"Why?" It seemed a simple question, but the answer was a complicated jigsaw puzzle. Jess couldn't bring himself to answer. "Do you want to die because of why you're here?" Michaela asked gently. Jess nodded, tears pricking his dark brown eyes. "Look." Michaela pushed her chair away from the table and stood, pulling the hem of her shirt up slightly to reveal the end of a thick red scar.


	4. If You Just Let Him

Jess stared at the scar for a moment before Michaela let her shirt fall back down to meet her jeans. "I was in a car accident a year ago." Michaela explained. ""My best friend was driving. We swerved, hit the median, flipped, and everyone died but me."

"I'm sorry." Jess said, feeling like it wasn't enough to encompass the emotion.

"I blamed myself. 'If only we had stayed the night at Aunt Cassie's house instead of driving home from the concert through a blizzard.' There were too many 'if onlys.' Those tear you apart."

Jess's eyes were full of tears, and so were Michaela's. "Why did God let it happen if He's in control?" Jess choked out.

"Your accident or mine?" she asked honestly.

"Both."

"God has a plan for both of us, Jess. He has a plan for everyone. It might not seem like it now, but He does. Even when you've hit rock bottom, He's there." she smiled wryly through her tears. "It's true, what they say--when you're at the bottom, the only way to look is up."

"Will it ever go away?" Jess asked, feeling like a small child asking his mother if the monsters under his bed would ever disappear.

"The pain?" Michaela looked Jess straight in the eye. Jess responded by nodding. "No." she answered honestly. "It won't go away, but over time it will dull until you can figure out a way to work around it."

"Have you figured out a way?"

"Yes. I have realized that my friend was responsible for her actions, and that I had no control in the matter. God helped me over it, and He can help you.

"I know that your monster is tougher, since you were the one driving, but God can work a miracle in your heart if you just let Him." Michaela slipped her hand into his gently, across the table, and Jess felt safer than he had in a long time. 


	5. God Forgives

The days continued, until Michaela was visiting Jess almost once a week. Sometimes, she brought her father, and sometimes she or her father came alone.

"Tomorrow," Michaela said one day, "my dad is coming to see you. If it's okay with you, he'd like to counsel you."

"Counsel me?"

"About everything to do with the accident, your feelings, that sort of stuff."

"Can't we do that?" he asked. He was still kind of uncomfortable around her father. He was always more relaxed with Michaela.

"My parents believe that it's not good for another person my age, especially a guy, to let me carry that load. And I believe that, too." she said gently. Jess nodded.

* * *

The next day, Michaela's father came. "Hello, Jess. How are you today?" he asked.

"Fine, Pastor Swinton. And you?" Jess responded.

"I'm doing just fine."

"Michaela said you wanted to counsel me."

"If you want to go straight to that, it's okay with me."

Jess proceeded to pour out everything, from his childhood problems all the way to date--from his delinquencies to his life inside the teen facility. By the end, he had cried twice, and almost thrown up.

"Jess, have you ever heard of salvation?" Pastor Swinton asked him.

"It's what Christians say all the time." Jess nodded.

"Have you ever been saved?"

"No." Jess said flatly. All the light that had just been in his eyes from releasing seventeen years of pain and hurt vanished instantly. "God would never accept me."

"He accepted me."

"What did you do?" Jess asked. Such a good man could never have been as messed up as he was.

"I killed a mother and her two children in a car accident."

"What?"

"I was driving my new car, a sportscar, and I was about 22. It was finally ruled an accident, but I did serve time behind bars."

"Did you ever tell Michaela?" Jess queried.

"She was worried when she was around twelve that God wouldn't forgive her. She had gotten into a fight with her sister and hit her so hard that her sister fell and hit her head. Her sister was very angry at Michaela, and Michaela was very sure that God would never forgive her. I told her about my story, and she was saved that night."

"God would forgive me?" Jess asked, doubtingly.

"Yes. He loves you so much, Jess. I know that losing Rory was hard for you, but maybe God intended that for your salvation?"

"What if Rory wasn't saved? I'm pretty sure she wasn't."

"Then that was her decision. It wasn't anyone else's. Rory's time to die came at a young age, but she wasn't to young to accept Jesus."

Pastor Swinton left, and Jess was returned to his cell. He had a lot to think about.


	6. The ABC's

Jess was going crazy in his cell. Three days had gone by, and not one visit from the Swintons. The food still came, but no Michaela. Jess realized how much he missed her company.

"God, if You're there," Jess knelt as he'd seen Christians do in movies, "please don't let anything bad have happened to Michaela or her dad. I think I love her, God, I really do, and I want you to keep her safe because I can't." Then he laid back down on his bed, tears in his eyes. What if she wasn't okay?

The next morning, Pastor Swinton came to see Jess. Once they were seated in the visiting room, Jess asked the question burning his heart to ashes.

"Is Michaela okay?"

"Well, Jess," Pastor Swinton took a deep breath, a worried look in his eyes. "Not exactly. She was in a car accident two nights ago, and she's in the hospital."

Jess slammed his fist down on the table. "That's not fair!" he bit out. "Michaela has dedicated her life to God, and now He let her get into another accident!"

"This won't sound comforting right now, Jess, but everything serves a purpose. And that's what we can rely on. That and God."

"I wish I could see her."

"I know." Pastor Swinton nodded. "I know, Jess. You could pray for her, though. No bars can prevent that."

"I prayed for her last night, and look what happened! God didn't listen!"

"Jess," Pastor Swinton looked Jess right in the eye. "The accident happened twenty-four hours before you prayed. It's good that you did. She wasn't doing too well, but last night she had an amazing turnaround."

"So she'll be okay?"

"The doctors aren't a hundred percent sure, but they're fairly certain that she'll pull through with no complications. And I credit that to you, Jess."

"Me?"

"God listens to everyone's prayers, and I believe that He especially listens to the prayers of those who aren't His children."

"Why?"

"Because He wants them to become His children."

"What do I have to do to get saved?" Jess asked bluntly. He couldn't do community service or anything for a while, but maybe later on, he reasoned.

"There is a method called the ABC's of salvation. Step one is to admit you are a sinner."

"What is a sinner?"

"Someone who breaks God's commandments."

"I'm definitely a sinner, then."

"It's good that you can admit that. I couldn't for the longest time." Pastor Swinton nodded. "Step two is to believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, and that he came to the earth to save sinners."

"I believe that."

"Okay. Step three is something you've already done for me, to confess your sins. Now you need to confess them to God." Pastor Swinton closed his eyes and folded his hands, motioning for Jess to do the same. "It's to show God our undivided attention." he explained. Jess nodded.

"Uh, God..." Jess began uncertainly, "I know I've sinned, and I know that you died for my sins, and I'm going to confess them now.

"I'm sorry for all the lies I've told, and for all the stuff I've stolen over the years. I'm also really sorry that I got Rory killed, God. I hope that she was saved, and I'm glad that you took me to a place where I would have nothing to do but sit and think.

"God, please help me live my life for you. I need you so bad. I'm going crazy here, God, and I need you. I love you, God, and I commit my life to you." Jess finished, and raised his head. He could feel something new sweeping through him, and he told this to Pastor Swinton.

"That's the Holy Spirit filling every hole in you until you are complete in Him."

Jess was about to thank Pastor Swinton when a warden opened the door and entered the room. "You have more visitors, Jesse."

"I should go and see Michaela, Jess. She'll be so excited that you did this!" Pastor Swinton smiled at Jess, and took his leave.

The people the warden showed into the room next were the last ones Jess expected to see. It was Luke, Lorelai, and Dean.

"Now, Jess," the warden explained quietly, "my superior officer says that due to the people who are visiting, especially Dean, you need to be restrained, okay?"

Jess nodded understandingly and surrendered his hands behind his back. The warden locked him into the handcuffs, and left the room. It was only now that Jess looked to his visitors. All three looked rather sickened by witnessing Jess being handcuffed.

"So..." Jess tried to break the awkward silence, but made the situation more awkward instead.

"We just wanted to see how you're doing." Lorelai offered huskily. "That seems stupid, but..."

"It's okay." Jess nodded. "I understand."

"I just wanted to tell you that I realize that the accident was just that, and that I'm sorry they decided to make an example of you." Dean said.

"I'm doing okay." Jess shifted into a more comfortable position. "I'm doing much better, actually. I got saved five minutes ago. Literally."

"Saved?" Luke asked. "Like freaky, wacko, born again stuff?"

"Right out of the Bible." Jess nodded, feeling his face break into a genuine smile. "Well, that's great, if that works out for you." Luke said, standing up. "We should go, though."

"Come see me again, okay?" Jess asked. He suddenly felt alone, but then he realized the void that had once been in his heart had been filled up. That made him feel less alone, but he knew that human contact helped, just as Michaela had pointed out to him the day he met her.

"Okay." Luke nodded. "We will." The three left and Jess was returned to his cell. He wondered if he could get his hands on a Bible, and filed away that thought for future reference.


	7. Nothing He Can Do

Jess lay on the cot in his cell, praying for Michaela. He prayed that she would come and see him soon, because though Luke, Lorelai, and even Dean tried, they were so busy that they hadn't come to see him again. Pastor Swinton was attending to his daughter, so Jess hadn't had any visitors since Luke, Lorelai, and Dean had come a week before.

Day in and day out, he was kept in his cell. He was let out to exercise in the gym, and to use the bathroom, but otherwise he was stuck in his seven foot square cell. He felt like the walls were closing in on him. No human contact other than the wardens made Jess feel like an animal, and drove him into silence. He only spoke if asked a direct question.

Jess fell asleep that night, hoping and praying that Michaela would come and see him soon. He prayed that she would recover so quickly, that she could come see him the next day. He fell asleep, and dreamed of Michaela.

The next morning, Jess woke to the sound of his cell door opening. Was Michaela here? He looked past the warden and his heart leaped when he saw Michaela! Tears of joy came to his eyes. He was happy to be restrained, and escorted to the visiting room.

"Michaela," his voice cracked, "I'm so glad to see you." She nodded.

"I'm glad to see _you_!" she smiled, as Jess was released from his handcuffs and the warden left the room. "And I heard that you were saved! Welcome to the family of God!"

"Yeah," Jess confirmed. "I got saved a week ago. And it was all you."

"No," Michaela shook her head. "It was all God." They smiled at each other, and Michaela rose from her chair. She walked around the table, and motioned for Jess to stand up. He did, and she enveloped him into a hug. He returned the hug, tears falling from his eyes onto Michaela.

They released each other and returned to their seats. She saw the marks on his cheeks where the tears had coursed down his face. "Why are you crying?" she asked.

"I'm just so happy." he said, honestly. "I'm happy that you're okay, and that you're here, and that God answered my prayer. I asked Him last night to make it so that you could come visit me today."

"I'm so glad that God is already doing so much in your life!" she grinned, and stood again. "I have to go, but I wanted to come and let you know that I'm okay."

"Okay." he joined her in standing, and opened the door for her.

"Goodbye, Jess. I'm going to try to visit you soon, but I'm going to be really busy for the next few weeks.

"I also have to tell you, Jess, that I..." she paused. "I should've told you sooner. I have a boyfriend. We've been dating for six months, and I felt I should let you know."

"Yeah." Jess nodded, his voice husky. "It's good that you let me know." Tears welled up in his eyes again, but for a different reason.

"I'm sorry, Jess." she walked out of the room.

"Don't be sorry." he said. "Whatever you do, don't be sorry."

"Okay." she smiled again, and left.

Jess walked slowly back to his cell. He didn't know why it hurt him that Michaela had a boyfriend. He shook his head--he did know why. He was in love with Michaela, and now there was nothing he could do about it. He walked into his cell, curled up on the cot, and cried himself to sleep.


	8. Don't Say Anything

I am very sincerely, truly sorry that I have not updated in 4 and a half months! I have been extremely busy with school, finding a job, and looking at colleges! So very sorry! Anyway, here is an extremely long chapter!

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Jess knew that it was wrong to wish or pray that Michaela and her boyfriend would break up, but Jess didn't know what to do. He knew that if he was not in prison, he might have a chance, but though Michaela didn't hold Rory's death against Jess, he would be in prison for years to come. Even if Michaela and her boyfriend broke up, Jess wouldn't be able to date Michaela. It was an impossible dream, to wish for Michaela's love.

He lay on his cot, not moving, trying not to think about Michaela, but she crept into every thought. He thought about how Michaela and her father ministered to teens in prison. He wondered about Michaela's mother. She'd never mentioned anything about her. If only Jess were free....but that thought ended with the reminder of his transfer, just nine months away.

In nine months, Jess would turn eighteen, at which point he would be transferred to Hartford Prison. He would serve five years there, and would be twenty-three upon his release. He didn't know if he would be able to get his GED while in prison, and so he thought the worse: that he'd have many community service hours to complete, and he would have no high school diploma, no college education, and most likely, no Michaela.

Nine months seemed like a long time to Jess, until they began to fly by. He saw less and less of Michaela as her relationship with her boyfriend continued. She had turned seventeen, and was now finishing her junior year of high school, the way Jess should've been before his arrest.

A few weeks before his transfer, Michaela came to see Jess again. A tall, blonde young man was with her, and Jess' gut wrenched. Was this Michaela's boyfriend? Why would she bring him to see Jess?

"Jess," Michaela addressed him after they were settled into the visiting room, "this is my boyfriend, Matt. Matt, this is Jess.

"Matt and I have both been praying for you, Jess, and I thought that it would be good for you two to meet."

"Thanks for the prayers." Jess couldn't think of anything else to say to Matt. He was still embarrassed that his hands had to be restrained behind his back.

"No problem." Matt nodded.

"I'm sorry, but could I talk to Michaela alone for a minute?" Jess asked Matt.

"Sure." Matt obliged, exiting the room. He had barely closed the door when Jess looked straight at Michaela.

"_Why_?" he asked.

"Jess--" Michaela began, but he cut her off.

"Look, Michaela." Jess said defeatedly, leaning forward and resting his forehead on the table between them. "I know. I know why you brought Matt here. I know why we can never be anything. I'll be in prison for another five years, and I will in most likelihood reenter society with nothing. So just go. You can't expect me not to say anything when you start flaunting your perfect boyfriend in front of my face. Leave."

"But Jess, I--" she tried again, but Jess wasn't quite finished.

"I _never_ want to see you again. Get out." he told her flatly. She made no move at all, so he crossed the room to the door himself, only to remember that his hands were cuffed behind his back. The warden opened the door for Jess before Michaela could reach him. Jess bolted down the corridor toward his cell. Tears blinded him, and he lost his footing. He hit the floor hard, and couldn't bring himself to get up. Michaela was a few yards behind him, and she reached Jess before he could get up. She began to help him up, but he recoiled from her touch. He stumbled into his cell, pulling the door shut behind him with his hands.

Michaela stood on the other side of the door, and she sighed. What on earth could she say to Jess?

"Don't say _anything_." he snarled, reading her mind. Then he collapsed onto his cot, facedown, and let his pillow collect his tears as he fell into a troubled sleep.


	9. Author's Note

Author's Note: I am sorry to be so lax and remiss in posting new chapters, but I'll be away for the weekend soon and maybe I'll get some inspiration! I have a chapter in the works, but it needs a lot of tweaking!


	10. Apologies

When he woke, Jess discovered that his hands had been released. It was late at night. He curled his arms around his pillow, resting his chin on it. Now he had blown it. Michaela surely wouldn't come see him ever again, as per his wishes, but now he wished differently. He waited up into the morning, tired, but not ready to sleep. He couldn't sleep until he had seen Michaela.

Pastor Swinton came to see him that afternoon. "Jess," he said, "Michaela was extremely upset when Matt dropped her off at home yesterday. She hasn't said a word to anyone since. What happened?"

"I was a jerk." Jess closed his eyes, which welled with tears. "I yelled at her. I said that she was lording Matt over me and that I knew she and I could never be anything. I was so stupid."

"Michaela didn't bring Matt to see you in order to show him off." Pastor Swinton said.

"I know. I was just so angry…I told her that I never wanted to see her again." Jess sighed, and rested his forehead on his folded arms on the table.

"Ultimatums like that hurt, Jess."

"I said it to hurt her." Jess admitted. "Then I ran back to my cell, and tripped. She tried to help me, but I wouldn't let her."

"Jess," Pastor Swinton said, "Michaela is in the car outside. I made her come, but I will only make her see you if you apologize."

"That's all I want to do." Jess assured Pastor Swinton.

"Okay." Pastor Swinton left, and returned shortly with Michaela. She pointedly looked behind Jess instead of at him.

"Michaela, I am so sorry." Jess apologized. Michaela still didn't look at him. "I am so very sorry." No response. Jess sighed dejectedly and returned once more to his cell. If she did not want to talk, fine. He wouldn't talk to her, either.

Soon, Jess was transferred to the adult prison. Pastor Swinton continued to visit him, but no Michaela. Jess caught a cold, and grew more ill by the day. Soon after, he was hospitalized with pneumonia. Normally, an eighteen year old guy would rally quickly, but he had no reason to. He was dying of a broken heart. Luke and Lorelai came to see him a lot, but it didn't help. He wouldn't say a word, and refused food until he was forced to use a feeding tube. He relented and took the food given to him, but still made no progress.

A few weeks after his admittance to the hospital, a fever consumed Jess, and he lost consciousness. The hospital staff tried everything they could think of to break his fever, but it raged on. On the second day of Jess's fever, Michaela came. She had gone to see Jess at the prison, but was told he had been hospitalized.

Michaela's heart twisted and her breath caught when she saw Jess. His forehead was soaked in sweat, and he tossed and turned. She grasped his hand as she sat on the side of the bed. "Oh, Jess." Michaela sighed. "What happened? Why did you fall for me?" No reply, of course. "Father God," Michaela prayed, "Please, take this fever away from Jess. Reveal Yourself further to him, and please, mend his heart. I broke it, Lord. You take broken hearts and bind them up. You are Jess's only hope, Lord, and I'm begging for him!" Tears streamed down Michaela's downturned face.

Suddenly, she felt Jess's hand pull away from hers. She looked quickly to Jess's face. His eyes were open; he was awake! "Oh, thank you, Jesus!" she gasped. "Jess!" He looked confused for a moment. "I'm really here, Jess." she assured him, in case he thought he was dreaming or something.

"I know you are." Jess stated flatly. "What I don't know is why you are here."

"I heard that you were sick." Michaela responded.

"And you decided to waltz in here and risk getting sick, not to mention seeing me, the guy who told you he never wanted to see you again?" Jess had wanted to apologize, but couldn't resist slamming Michaela once.

"Jess, I—" Michaela tried, but Jess cut her off.

"Michaela—"

"No!" she interrupted him. "You are going to listen to me. Yes, I knowingly risked getting sick. Yes, I really came to see you. I prayed for you, and you woke up. I didn't bring Matt to see you to parade him around. You were _dying_, Jess. Dying! I couldn't let you die. And another thing—"

"Michaela, I am so sorry." Jess interjected. The next words out of Michaela's mouth died on her lips. "I am so sorry that I said those things. I'm sorry I accused you of lording Matt over me. I'm asking forgiveness for all of those things. One thing I can't apologize for is falling in love with you. I don't know when, or how, or why. I have no idea. I will be in prison for another five years. I don't know what I'll do upon my release. I just don't know, but I do know that I can't apologize for loving you." Michaela stared at Jess, speechless. "I love you, Michaela. I love you, and I know that I always will."

All at once, a doctor and two nurses came into the room. They had heard talking, and were delighted to see that Jess was awake. They hurried Michaela out of Jess's room, located Luke and Lorelai, and the police officer on duty to watch Jess. Jess was tended to, and was released a few days later.

Now, back in his cell at the prison, Jess fell into a routine. He would wake, pray, and meditate on the Lord all day. He ate the food given to him, and exercised daily. He lived this way in peace for a few months. He saw Pastor Swinton occasionally, but they never spoke of Michaela.

Spring shifted into summer, and with it, the end of Michaela's junior year of high school. She came to see Jess one day in late June. They sat on opposite sides of a glass barrier, one Michaela wished could disappear. He didn't say anything. Michaela took the initiative and spoke. "How are you?" Jess shrugged. He hadn't seen Michaela in months. Why was she coming to see him now? "I came to see how you were doing and to ask how I can pray for you." Michaela explained.

"Michaela," Jess said, the sound of her name from his lips putting a knife through his heart, "I'm not ready. I'm not ready to see you. I'm not ready to talk to you. It hurts too much." he said honestly. He couldn't bear seeing her.

"But, Jess, I don't understand—" Michaela began to say that she didn't understand why he felt that way, but he silenced her with a knowing look. "Fine, I admit it." she conceded. "I do understand. But, Jess—"

"Have you ever read the short story _The Man Without A Country_?" he asked abruptly. She shook her head. "Well," Jess said, "it is about a man named Phillip Nolan, who couldn't go home to America. He wasn't allowed to have anything to do with it, for the last fifty years of his life. To me, you are what home was to Phillip Nolan. Unattainable. He couldn't speak the word. I can't take it when you come here. You are basically presenting home to Phillip Nolan and then snatching it away the moment he sets foot on American soil."

"Jess, I'm so sorry." The hopelessness Jess was engulfed in finally hit Michaela like a tidal wave. She understood, fully, how he felt and what seeing her did to him. "I am so very sorry. I hope that you can forgive me." Then she stood and left. Her quick exit made Jess's breath catch. If seeing her was stabbing his heart, not seeing her was shredding it. He instantly regretted forcing her to leave. The empty silence, moments ago filled with her voice, haunted Jess as he returned to his cell.


	11. Blessed

Michaela didn't come see him after that. However, she was on her knees every day for him. She knew that God knew better than anyone how Jess needed to be handled. Her heart broke for him. He had the truth, and believed it, but if it wasn't watered, Jess's faith was going to dry out and crumble like old plants.

Senior year started, and while for Michaela it meant school, for Jess, it meant passing his GED test. He then began to take college level courses toward a degree in journalism. Michaela was buried in schoolwork. Months passed, and soon, it was Christmas. Jess had been in the adult prison for nearly one year out of five. He had his GED and a few college credits under his belt. One afternoon in January, Michaela came to visit Jess.

"Hi." he greeted her. Once again there was a glass barrier between them.

"Hi." she returned the greeting.

"How have you been?"

"Lately, I haven't been doing well." she admitted. Jess's eyes asked why, but his voice remained silent. "Matt broke up with me." she finally said, breaking the silence.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Jess said, genuinely.

"Well, I saw it coming, I guess, but I was waiting to see what would happen."

"What do you mean?" he asked curiously.

"I knew after a while that his theology was too different from mine for it to ever work out to marriage, but I was willing to wait and see if everything could work out. He broke up with me a few weeks ago."

"How was his theology different?"

"He doesn't believe in spiritual powers, for one thing."

"What, like supernatural powers?"

"Well, like evil spirits and stuff."

"Like the little evil demons in _Anastasia_? The green ones?" Jess asked. Michaela nodded.

"Yes. I was on a missions trip in a town where he has family, and I felt really strong evil spirits at work there. When I told him about it, he just wrote it off and said that it was probably the way I was feeling physically. I have allergies and other food problems, but it was unlike any of those feelings. It was definitely evil spirits."

"And he didn't believe you?"

"No. He doesn't believe in it; why would he believe me?"

"Well, I don't know a whole lot about stuff like that yet, but in the Bible, Jesus cast that evil spirit out of that girl, right?"

"That's one example of an evil spirit, yes. Many of those were cast out in Bible times."

"That's enough for me to believe they exist."

"You're so quick to believe, Jess, it makes me so happy that you're so open to the truth!"

"When it makes so much sense, it's easy."

"Exactly!" Michaela smiled.

"Are you doing okay since he broke up with you?" Jess asked.

"Well, Matt was my first boyfriend. We dated for almost two years. It's hard to say."

"I'll be praying for you." Jess assured her.

"Thanks." Michaela said, tears coming to her eyes.

"No problem." Jess nodded.

"I have to go, Jess, but thanks."

"For what?"

"Thanks for not immediately asking to be my boyfriend."

"You're welcome. I know where you are right now emotionally. I know that I've been there, and I know that it takes time."

"Yeah." Michaela nodded. "It does. Thanks." And with that, she left. Jess immediately missed her presence. He returned to his cell and lay down on his bed.

"Jesus," he prayed, "please be with Michaela as her heart has been broken. You have taken care of her so much in the two years that I have known her. She is a beautiful, smart, strong young woman, Lord, and I am totally in love with her. I can see that now isn't the time, so please take this desire away from me. Please just take it away. I can't stand not being able to be there for Michaela, Jesus. I can't stand it, so please don't let me have to. In Your precious name, Jesus, amen."

He knew exactly how Michaela felt. Let down, confused, upset, hurt, and a myriad of other feelings. He had only felt that way once in his life. The night of the accident, he and Rory had been discussing Dean, and Rory's relationship with him. She had told him that she was perfectly happy with Dean. She had told him about Tristin Dugray, the only other guy who'd tried to steal her away from Dean. He hadn't been successful either.

"Jess, you're a good friend, but I am happy with Dean. He loves me, and I love him." Rory had said gently that night, while they were studying at the diner. She had meant it, too. She really had loved Dean, and Jess had gotten her killed. One minute, they had been discussing foxholes and foreign languages, and the next there was a furry thing in the road. Jess had swerved, and had forever changed the lives of everyone connected to Rory, himself included.

The next day, Luke and Lorelai came to see him. About six months before, they had begun to officially date. Now they were pretty serious, and Luke had asked Jess for advice about the ring he was going to give Lorelai soon.

"Hey." Lorelai smiled at Jess. She had forgiven him long before, figuring out that Rory's death didn't mean that Jess had to die too. His sentence of six years away from the outside world was punishment enough. And as much as Lorelai hated to admit it, Jess had changed. It was noticeable. Normally, Jess would've sulked around his cell for the past two years, but the new Jess had accepted his sentence with maturity and quiet solemnity. He was kind to others, helpful when possible, and almost never in a mood when people came to see him.

"Hi, Lorelai." he smiled back at her, and at Luke. It had taken Jess a while to get used to seeing Lorelai, the older version of Rory, but he had adjusted. Now, instead of it being like Rory coming back to haunt him, it was a sweet reminder of her.

"Hey." Luke pulled a pair of chairs up to the window and he and Lorelai sat.

"How are you?" Jess asked the couple.

"We're great." Lorelai said, and Luke nodded in agreement. Their fingers were intertwined, and they looked really happy. Jess was glad for them. He had prayed about when was the right time to share with them about Christ, and now seemed like a perfect opportunity.

"You two know that shortly after my imprisonment almost two years ago, that I was saved."

"Yes, the born again stuff." Lorelai nodded.

"Well, I was hoping that I could tell you more about it, and how it has helped me. How Jesus has helped me."

"Jesus? How has Jesus helped you?" Luke asked skeptically.

"He has prevented me from going crazy in a small room, he's provided friends to visit me, and with a copy of His Word, the Bible. He saved me, in every way possible. We all know that if I wasn't saved, I wouldn't be sitting here, talking to you. I would be in my cell, refusing visitors. I probably would've tried to commit suicide. I would've fought every guard who ever escorted me anywhere. I would not be here today. I would've probably died from the pneumonia I had last year."

"Say all of this is true. Great. It works for you." Luke nodded. "But what if it's just brainwashing? What if it's all a hoax, and you can't see it because it's something to hang onto?"

"It's the only thing to hang onto." Jess said, honestly. "It's the only part of my life that really matters."

"But you can't expect us to just say, "Oh, I believe!" just like that, Jess." Lorelai said.

"Why not?" Jess asked, challengingly, but not meanly.

"Just because." Luke answered.

"That doesn't make any sense." Jess responded. "Jesus died for your sins. All of them. He died for the sins of the entire world. Everyone who ever lived or will ever live has sinned or will during their lifetime. And he took the punishment for it all. Romans 6:23 says that the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Christ Jesus our Lord. John 3:16 says that God loved the world so much that he sent his only begotten son to earth, that whoever may believe in him should not die but have everlasting life! He sacrificed himself for us."

"You believe God forgives you for the car accident?" Luke asked.

"Yes. It wasn't intentional, but I still felt guilty, and Jesus took that guilt away."

"You keep on saying God and Jesus. Is God two people?" asked Lorelai.

"Well, God the Father is one part of the Holy Trinity. Jesus Christ, the Son, is the second part, and the Holy Spirit is the third part. After Jesus came to earth, and at age approximately 33, was crucified, died and was buried, he rose again on the third day, later ascended into heaven, and sent the Holy Spirit to the Christians on earth. Anyone who believes and is saved is sealed by the Holy Spirit until the day of redemption, when Jesus will return."

"And what will happen to everyone who doesn't believe?" Luke asked. "We'll all go to hell?"

"Unfortunately, yes. But God doesn't want anyone to go to hell."

"Then why did he create it, if he created everything?" Lorelai wondered.

"He created it for Satan and the fallen angels. He never wanted people to go there."

"I never knew all of this." Lorelai said. "I always thought that God was mean and judgmental."

"He isn't. He loves you."

"I've seen you change over the past two years, Jess. I can see that you have peace, and I want it. What do I do to have that?" Lorelai asked.

"Pray with me." Jess said simply. He bowed his head and closed his eyes. "It's to show God our undivided attention." he explained, smiling as he remembered Pastor Swinton saying the same thing two years earlier. Lorelai followed suit, as did Luke, to Jess's surprise and delight. "God, I know that you sent your son, Jesus, to earth to save sinners. I have sinned, and I ask forgiveness for those sins. I believe that Jesus came to earth, died, rose again on the third day, and ascended into heaven. I believe that you will give me the gift of eternal life. Amen." Jess said the sinner's prayer, and both Luke and Lorelai repeated it. When they were finished, all three looked at the other two. "Welcome to the family of God!" Jess smiled, tears of joy streaming down his face.

When Lorelai and Luke were ready to leave, Jess made a request. "I know that Dean came and I saw him two years ago, but I want to see him again. Can you ask him to come?"

"Sure." Lorelai nodded, and she and Luke took their leave.

The next day, Dean came to see him. "Hey." Jess greeted him congenially.

"Hi." Dean returned.

"How have you been?"

"Okay. I graduated, started taking college courses at the community college, and then I'll transfer to a four year school."

"Rory would be proud."

"Yeah. She would, wouldn't she?" Dean smiled.

"Any new girl in your life? Sorry to ask so many questions, but I'm bored in here."

"It's okay. I like a girl named Hilary. She's really cool, but she won't go out with me."

"Why not?"

"I'm not a Christian." Dean said, and Jess fought to keep from laughing even a little. How ironic was it that Jess was a Christian, but Dean was the one who liked a Christian girl?

"Have you considered becoming a Christian?"

"Hilary has shared a lot with me, and I'm sure she's right, but I don't want her to think if I become a Christian it's just an act to be with her."

"Well, would it help if I shared some?"

"Yeah." Dean nodded. He and Jess spent the rest of the visiting time they had on the topic of Christianity. Dean ended up praying with Jess, and joining the family of God!

"Wow! God has blessed me so much! It's awesome!" Jess grinned. "First Lorelai and Luke, and now you, Dean!"

"Luke and Lorelai?"

"Yeah! They were in to see me yesterday—you three should find a good church to go to near Stars Hollow. I've heard that Calvary Chapel in Woodbridge is a good church."

"Cool. I'll go see what they're about on Sunday." Dean nodded, and said goodbye.


	12. Happily Ever After

Over the next few years, Jess got to know Michaela better and better. They were best friends, and Michaela supported him through his last years of prison. Soon, Jess's release date would arrive, and though he was glad it was coming, he was a little intimidated by it. How much had his world changed while he was absent?

"What are you going to do after you're out?" Michaela asked him, a few days before his release.

"Visit your church." he said, honestly. "I can't thank you enough for the support you've given me over the past six years."

"I'm just excited that you're going to be able to come to my graduation!" Michaela smiled, truly glad that Jess would be attending her college graduation ceremony.

"I am, too." he smiled back at her. "You've worked so hard, and you've put up with me, too."

"You're not really that tough, Jess. Inside, you're a softie. You can't deny it!"

"I was that tough, and you showed me that I don't have to be. Thanks."

"It wasn't my doing; it was God's."

"I'll always be thankful that we met."

"I will, too." she smiled. "Now, I have to go. I have one more final, tomorrow, and then I'm free!"

"Congratulations!"

"You're one to talk--you graduated already!"

"Yeah. I'm probably the only person you know in prison with a degree in journalism."

"You're my favorite journalist."

"Get going! Do well tomorrow!"

"I will!"

A few days later, Jess was given civilian clothing and released. He emerged into the sunlight, feeling more free than he ever had in his life. Luke, Lorelai, and Dean were there to meet him, with Michaela and her father. They all went back to Luke's for a quiet gathering, and that afternoon, Jess asked Michaela to be his girlfriend. She gladly accepted.

One year later, after twelve months filled with dates, movie nights, love, and laughter, Jess proposed, and Michaela accepted. Their wedding was beautiful, and their marriage even better. They lived happily ever after.

* * *

I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed this story, and for all of the encouragement and challenges I received in writing it! Thanks a million!


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